It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
