someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
