Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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