My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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