shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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