so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
