i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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