i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
