I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
