That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
