Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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