things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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