The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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