Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
