he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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