Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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