Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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