I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
