yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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