my mouth tastes like poor choices
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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