He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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