I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We have started to decorate penises.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
