We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
