New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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