I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
