Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Small penises have feelings too.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
