I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
