who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
