Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
