I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
