y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
