How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
home. puking in laundry basket.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
