she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
