Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
