just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
