Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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