Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
