she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
