But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fuck appropriateness.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
