quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just forgot I was standing up.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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