I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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