just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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