He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
