Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
