I just saw a hot homeless man
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
