last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
