My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
