meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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