That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
