If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
