You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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