Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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