We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry about my life...
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