im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
