oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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