thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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